It's long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you're standing on shaky ground.This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.
One minute you're high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you're frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don't understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games.
Behavioral extremes indicate a power play is being employed. Once we have the ability to see hot and cold for what it is, we're less likely to suffer its negative effects.
Today, people use it to make money, build empires, and control the economy.
If only it was solely used for those reasons, then the world would be a much better place.
When a guy has you and gets to keep you without really putting in much effort, your stock inevitably goes down in his mind.
At this point, you may notice that he starts pulling away until he eventually pulls a swift Houdini on you, vanishing into the abyss without even uttering “abracadabra” to give you some warning!
MORE: A Guy’s Take on Neediness Now it is worth noting that a lot of women want to know how to make a guy chase them because they want him to pursue her and commit.
If you want to know exactly what makes a man commit and how to make him commit to you (and only you), then take a look at this article here: MORE: 4 Ways To Make Him Commit and Want Only You I met this guy years ago, let’s call him Craig.
My last blog on top dating mistakes women make caused an uproar among male readers who complained my advice encouraged women to “play games.” Not a huge surprise, since the most common dating blunders are a boon to lazy men looking for casual flings.
But a bit ironic, given that MEN themselves are masters of game playing in relationships.
In fact, the tough love coaching I give my clients is aimed at protecting women from falling victim to such games. I’m sure female readers could cite hundreds of examples.